


Drowning is a quiet, desperate thing

by TumblingBackpacks



Series: Based on Tumblr [4]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Drowning, Gen, Guardian!Impulse, Hurt/Comfort, Respawn Mechanics, Scattered AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28501251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumblingBackpacks/pseuds/TumblingBackpacks
Summary: There were several very unappealing deaths. Not that death in general was very appealing in the first place, but it was fairly well known that a death via fall damage was far less painful than starvation. Or a stab wound was preferable to being torn apart by zombies.Really, any death that prolonged the pain was especially undesirable. That being said, Impulse was not having a good time at the ocean monument.
Relationships: impulseSV & Tango Tek & Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Based on Tumblr [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068290
Kudos: 44





	Drowning is a quiet, desperate thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadeSwift99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeSwift99/gifts).



There were several very unappealing deaths. Not that death in general was very appealing in the first place, but it was fairly well known that a death via fall damage was far less painful than starvation. Or a stab wound was preferable to being torn apart by zombies.

Really, any death that prolonged the pain was especially undesirable. That being said, Impulse was not having a good time at the ocean monument. 

_ <Impulse drowned> _

Drowning was painful to say the least, it burned at his lungs and the salt scraped at this throat. And then he died. Every. Single. Time

He couldn’t escape the death loop matter how hard he tried to hold his breath. He tried his best to just hold onto the hope that this time… maybe he’d find a pocket of air. Maybe this time he’d break through the monument walls. Maybe this time he’d make it to the surface. Maybe this time a guardian wouldn’t kill him. Maybe this time he’d respawn somewhere safe. 

Maybe… maybe this time the death loop would stop. Please… he wanted it to stop.

He had been so ready to enter the new server and start a new season. Starting from scratch was a bit difficult at first, but it was also exciting. There was an endless possibility to explore new opportunities. 

_ <Impulse drowned> _

Impulse was done with excitement. He just wanted to lie down and rest, specifically somewhere with air. Somewhere far, _far_ away from any ocean monuments. 

The salt burned in his lungs as he tried to breathe, only to be met with water, water, and _more water_. The desperation of trying to dig past the monument, only to die right before he finished, nullifying his progress. Each respawn left him more tired, less willing to try and fight. 

Impulse wanted to scream. But he didn’t, couldn’t. It would just be a waste of precious air, something he was already short on. What had happened anyway? This was clearly wrong, players weren’t supposed to spawn in the ocean, much less in an ocean monument. Why hadn’t Xisuma teleported him out? Why hadn’t _any_ Hermit come for him?

_ <Impulse drowned> _

_ <Impulse was slain by an Elder Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse drowned> _

He found out why soon enough. 

He couldn’t even contact the other Hermits. He tried, once.

The thought hadn’t crossed his mind initially because he had been too startled by the lack of air. After a few deaths, he had pulled out his communicator in a fit of desperation, hoping that the water didn’t damage the functionality irreparably. He only had a few seconds. 

The keypad worked, but the message didn’t send. Why didn’t it send? Several death messages appeared on screen as his vision faded to black once again. 

<Grian froze to death>

<Xisuma was killed by a Warden>

<ZombieCleo was slain by an Iron Golem>

<Impulse drowned>

Oh dear. This was bad. The others didn’t seem to be in any better situation than he was, which was both comforting and concerning. Mostly concerning.

It was a slight reprise knowing that he wasn’t abandoned, but the thought of his friends-- practically his family-- being trapped in painful loops (like he was) filled him with dread. The dread multiplied when he realized that no one was going to rescue him because they _couldn’t_.

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse was slain by an Elder Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse drowned> _

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

Was it just him, or were there more guardians than before? Impulse swore that there had been one, maybe two. Now the monument was practically swarming with them. It was just a tingle of magic and he was dead. Again. 

Any flash of light, any flash of movement was enough to send him on edge. Movement meant a guardian (it was always a guardian), and a guardian meant death. Restarting again, weaker than before. He didn’t want to even move from his spawn anymore. He likely wouldn’t have if the pain from his desperation for air wasn’t so extreme. 

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

Prismarine. The absolutely frustrating block that refused to break fast enough. Impulse swore that if he ever made it to the surface, he would burn every block with a fervor rivalling Iskall’s hatred for diorite. 

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse drowned trying to fight Guardian> _

And he was back at his spawn again. His mind was spinning at this point and it was getting more difficult to form actual, cognitive thoughts. His body screamed with the instinct to _try to survive_ , but he was so dizzy. His head was throbbing badly and his vision was starting to blur even worse that it had been before. He knew the path by now, the way out, but try as he might, he couldn’t reach it.

_ <Impulse drowned> _

_ <Impulse was slain by an Elder Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

It was hopeless. He choked out a sob, too tired to even care. Besides, no one would notice tears when he was surrounded by water, completely alone. 

The thought hurt. It left the two possibilities that either the other Hermits were still trapped in their own death loops or… or they had escaped and hadn’t come. They might have assumed that Impulse could handle himself. Maybe they didn’t care.

_ <Impulse drowned> _

_ <Impulse drowned> _

_ <Impulse drowned> _

He tried to strengthen his resolve, force himself to try again. He could do this! He saw something moving in the corner of his eye. He couldn’t do this. 

The guardian came at him, it’s eye glowing as it activated it’s magic, and another figure appeared. Another _player_ appeared. Etho! It was Etho! For the first time in however long he had been here, Impulse felt a flutter of hope. 

Impulse tried swimming for him, trying to at least reach out before he died again, but Etho swam away from him, eyes widening. Etho bumped into the guardian behind him, who promptly killed him with magic. 

Why did Etho swim away? Impulse felt too numb from the thought to even care when the guardian set it’s focus back onto him. 

_ <Impulse was slain by a Guardian using magic> _

_ <Impulse drowned> _

_ <Impulse drowned> _

Finally, _finally_ the block broke and Impulse made his way upward, catching the distorted light of the sun shining above him. He was so close now. Just a little further… 

Impulse made it to the surface, breaking through with a gasp. 

It took far too much effort to tread water and stay afloat, but it was worth the breaths of airs he took in, that he was so incredibly grateful for. It still didn’t quite feel right, still felt like his lungs burned, but it was a huge improvement from before, so he shoved the thought aside.

It was a fair distance, but he could see the shore and the jungle behind it. Ignoring his aching muscles, he swam towards it, strangely fluid as he dipped under to cut though the water. 

That is, until he was jerked backward by a force latching itself into his leg. No no no no… not right now. Not like this. He was so close!

He tried to kick the drowned but it stayed stubbornly focused on him as it clawed at him. He was going to die again. He didn’t want to die again. The drowned pulled him under and Impulse shut his eyes, bracing himself for his inevitable death and respawning back at the ocean monument.

Instead, there was a sudden release of pressure on his leg. Impulse didn’t waste another second swimming back to the surface, a piece of rotten flesh floating up beside him. He didn’t know how the drowned had died, and didn’t care to find out either. 

\---

Impulse dragged himself painfully onto the shore. It was daytime, the sun shining relentlessly on him. It was irritatingly bright and Impulse shut his eyes. He had spent far too much time in the comparative darkness underwater. 

It would be fine though. It would just take a while to adjust back to the light. He would find the other Hermits, or they would find him. Everything would be fixed. Everything would be _okay_ again. 

Impulse hoped that if he repeated it to himself enough times he could get himself to believe it. 

\---

First priority was to make sure he didn’t die again. He managed to pull himself together just enough to make it to the nearest jungle tree before collapsing against it. He knew needed to move, gather some gear to defend himself before night fell, but he was spent. His eyes felt incredibly heavy and the sun beating down forced them shut once more. 

His final thought before drifting asleep was a plea that when he woke up, he wouldn’t be back underwater again. 

_ <Impulse went to sleep. Sweet dreams!> _

Impulse groaned as he stirred slowly into consciousness, his head still aching but he felt better rested. He looked down at his hands, were they tinted blue now? Surely not, that had to be a fluke, just a trick of the moonlight. 

Wait, the moon. It was night. Impulse forced himself up, looking around in a panic, but oddly enough, didn’t spot any mobs nearby. There were several pieces of rotten flesh and a bone laying nearby though. Rotten flesh wasn’t the most appetizing of things, but it would at least stave off hunger if he wasn’t able to find any alternatives. 

He decided to collect them before he began his trek to… somewhere. Anywhere else, really. It was still night, but he could see the path in front of him clearly. He pulled out his communicator and tried typing a message in chat. Still broken. 

He sighed. The best course of action would likely be staying where he was, after the pages upon pages of his death, someone would have figured he was at an ocean monument. Someone would have come for him eventually. 

But he didn’t want to stay nearby. Just thinking of the ocean was nauseating, partly because he desperately wanted to maintain his survival, but also because another part of him called to _go back, stay there, it’s where you belong_. 

He shoved the thought to the back of his mind. Great, now he was going insane. He put his focus back onto _getting out of there_.

\---

It was an uncomfortable travel, the air pricking at his skin in a way he was sure it hadn’t before the… just before. Weren’t jungles supposed to be humid? Why was it so dry?

Impulse does his best to suck it up as he forges onward. He spots two players in the distance, and he knows immediately which two they are. His face lights up and he tries calling out to them.

_Tango!_

_Zedaph!_

The attempt comes out as a frankly pathetic croak and neither of them notice it at all. It strikes him that he actually hadn’t spoken at all since he escaped the monument. Regardless, that doesn’t stop him from practically crashing through the jungle, a burst of adrenaline flooding his system as he does so.

Impulse doesn’t stop until they both spin at the sudden noise, and Zedaph jerks back. 

_Same as Etho’s reaction_ , Impulse thinks as he stops in front of them, resisting the urge to go any closer as they stare at each other. Tango looks apprehensive and Impulse’s heart sinks to the bottom of his chest. 

All the little changes he’s noticed since resurfacing, the ones he tried so hard to ignore, come rushing back to the forefront of his mind. He shifted his gaze to the floor. Did they not recognize him? The thought hurt a lot more than it should have.

“Impulse?” Tango asked cautiously. Impulse looked back up at him, narrowing his eyes at the harsh sunlight making its way through the jungle leaves. He gave a small nod. 

Tango didn’t hesitate to envelop him in a hug and Impulse flinched on reflex. He felt Tango loosen his arms at his reactions and he quickly reached out to hug him back and pull him closer. _Please don’t let go_.

Zedaph joined directly after and Impulse adjusted his arms to wrap around the both of them. He wasn’t okay. He didn’t think he would be anything close to being _okay_ for a long time.

But right now, as he allowed himself to melt into their hug, Impulse could take comfort in the fact that at least he wouldn’t be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the Scattered AU from Hermitcraft Headcanons tumblr (links to masterposts for [part 1](https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/638327802787250176/this-is-a-collection-of-all-material-associated) and [part 2](https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/638853979496923136/scattered-au-masterpost-part-2-inbox-closed)).
> 
> This was supposed to be a hurt/comfort with Team ZIT and Guardian!Impulse but then the comfort part just went /exit left/ whoops. I really want to write more about this AU, especially Etho, but I have too many fic ideas in my backlog and not enough time :/
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think :)


End file.
